Who's the Boss?

I find it strange that many Mormons (in the US, at least) believe that watching R rated movies is against the religion. I have never once heard any of our leaders say that. They have advised us to avoid watching movies that we are uncomfortable with, but in reality, who is comfortable watching something that they aren't comfortable with?

It also strikes me as peculiar that so many Mormons trust the committee of which we have no choosing, or vote, or have a representative of our standards, to rate movies. I mean, really?!?!?

When my children have asked to watch a movie, regardless of their age, my husband and I use our judgment. We think about the child in particular, their personality, and how they might react to any given movie. Some PG-13s have been fine. Some PG ones aren't. We, as the parents, make an informed decision.

I also hold this same standard for things such as Facebook. You technically have to be 13 to have an account, but what if my son, who is younger, is more trustworthy than most teenagers, then, we will agree to it. Again, we use our own judgment.

I think that's exactly what we're asked to do as Mormons, use the judgment from our own lives to guide our children.

Family Dinner

When I was young, I thought every family was like mine. I assumed that all families ate at the dinner table together, prayed together, went to church (any church, really), talked, had sibling rivalry, chores, expectations for school, etc.

I remember the first part of that bubble being burst when I was about 9 years old. A family moved in next door and they had a boy 2-3 years older than me. He would play basketball frequently with my older brother and sister. One day, my mom called us in for dinner. I turned to the boy and said that he should go in too for dinner. He said he wasn't hungry and he would eat when he was. I asked if that was because he didn't like what his mom was making. He kinda chuckled and said that she didn't make anything, he just ate when he wanted.

Wha? I thought about that and the freedom and fun it would be to do anything I wanted at any given time - eat when I was hungry and what I wanted. I mean, WOW!

As time went on, I realized that the family next door lacked several things that my family had our fair share of - we liked each other. I never got along with my sister (more to come on this, for sure) but we liked each other.

That is one of the things I want for my kids so bad, is to like their family and to be able to grow up as a team of allies, even if there is sometimes fighting, bickering, etc. We will eat dinner around the table. We will talk. We will be what I increasingly realized was the freakish family on the block, one of the fraction of kids in high school who still had dinner with their family.